This is pretty good! For what you wanted to convey, it's a solid track with interesting sections. I have some comments, although I'm super picky about how much variation in songs I enjoy, so you'll need to determine if my ideas make sense to you.
- I enjoyed the string pads but was left wanting a bit more movement in them.
- The descending square wave synth is a great addition, but it sounds a bit too loud in the mix to me, and its ongoing presence without variation till 1:54 felt kind of exhausting. But I super dig what you did with the square wave at 1:54; more variations will keep the listeners interest.
- That eight note hi-hat panned right feels a bit off balance, stereo-wise. I know you had another hi-hat panned left sync'd to the kick. I think what makes it feel imbalanced is the two hi-hats serve completely different functions, so they don't compliment each other.
- The 16th hi-hats seem to be battling the synths for the highest frequency space (I think 8Khz and higher). Sometimes lowpass filtering synths helps with this, but you can also use the hats signal to sidechain compress the synths' high range with a dynamic EQ or a spectral compressor. There are some amazing free plugins out there now.
- 3:46 and onward was my favorite part. Super textural! Just wish for more variation here too, because I hear the 4-bar loop.
- Small nitpick, well, more of a stylistic choice, but I think this mix, especially since it's on the faster side of tempo, would favor a shorter kick, perhaps even the same kick squeezed shorter (faster playback rate but same pitch).